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Superman bumped into Chuck Norris getting out of an elevator, and forgot to say excuse me.

When's the last time you saw Superman?

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Few people know Chuck Norris used to smoke, but he roundhouse kicked the habit so hard his lungs are now whiter than his teeth.

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The Fonz once told Chuck Norris to "sit on it," back in 1978.

Scientists have been working around the clock ever since, to extricate the Fonz from the gas tank of his motorcycle.

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Thank God for Chuck Norris!

Jesse Ventura threatened to run for a second term as Governor of MN, thank the Lord for Chuck Norris, who agreed to rid the state of the "Hobo Pirate."

Chuck said he'd rip off that coiled little chin beard, Jesse the Barber said "I'll just shave it."

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I bought the total gym 1000, and I love it!

Christy Brinkley calls me every other day now.

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Chuck Norris once round-house kicked former MN Gov. Jesse Ventura in the head, it stands as the only time it had no visable effect.

Jesse remained a fool with an empty cranium, although he did start wearing a new pirate wardrobe, but much of that has been credited to Jesse's favorite Seinfeld episode.

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There's a website that says Magua (ok, as in Last of the Mohicans Magua, aka Daniel Day Pussy Lewis version), would eat Chuck Norris' "seed." aka children.

Ironically, that happened to be the dinner conversation between Chuck Norris and Chingachgook that very evening, over braised Magua.

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God asked Baptist minister Mike Huckabee to run for President, he declined.

Chuck Norris asked Huckabee to run for President, he immediately entered the race, and promptly won the Iowa Caucus.